super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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