you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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