Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
