sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
