Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Threesome in a minivan. New low
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
