I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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