oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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