he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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