do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
