when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just had sex on a roof
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
