My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
