Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
