well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
