My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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