I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
