That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
