if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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