have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
