your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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