Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
