That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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