Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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