did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
