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woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
