Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
