Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
