I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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