I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
