it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
