the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
