Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
