you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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