I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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