Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
