I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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