the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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