So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
