and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
