Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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