You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
