Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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