I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You ruined the universe
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
