Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i love accidental penises.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
