I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
