Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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