I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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