Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
