I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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