so that wasnt chicken after all
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
a search helicopter?!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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