well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
