It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
