i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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