I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
