This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize