he thought i was a dude.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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