dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just blew my weed a kiss
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
