i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
