I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
