so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
