the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
