I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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