I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
