sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
either way he was missing a nipple.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
