Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
